I have ran all week in tank tops. But, if I had to layer-up again today, I proudly did it in my ol' hoodie from Minerva Running. This bold sweatshirt always makes a statement. But it makes even more of a statement now. Because, every day for the last four weeks, the only thing that hasn't been cancelled from my day are my runs - and some days there are multiple of them. I may not be "rising and shining" as early as I use to. My alarm never starts with a "4" on it, and rarely a "5". I'm not all matchy-matchy from head-to-toe. I never have on a full face of makeup. But I'm still up, not napping or dragging and I'm still moving. Bed head, messy bun and all. I don't even recognize myself on the outside. But she's still in there.
In the past four weeks, I have run 152 miles. My kids don't ask where I am. My husband doesn't second-guess me. Because, they all know that I need it. They honestly probably don't want to deal with me if I don't. In between the chaos, batches of chocolate chip cookies, and loads of laundry - the runs clear my head. They make me ... ME.
I'm not trying to make you a runner. I hope that everyone has something that they can escape with right now -- escape to find yourself again. Whether it's reading, music, dancing, baking, napping. Find your thing that makes you feel like YOU right now. Find that bright spot.
This morning, I listened to Kelly Clarkson's Broken and Beautiful about ten times on repeat while I covered today's seven miles, while tears streamed down my cheeks and the wind blew the earbuds out of my ears. Some days I've felt like I'm living my best life at home, connecting with my kids and moving my body through running, exploring and hiking 'til my little heart's content. And then there are those days when I've felt broken and lost because life gets more restricted, or the weather isn't ideal, or I realize that I'm generating zero income and my schedule and expectations are constantly changing. But I've never stopped moving. That just doesn't work for me. When I feel the need to escape or find some time for me, I hit the pavement.
Today I left feeling frumpy, frazzled and lost when I left my house. I am a "doer". I feel the need to meet expectations and accomplish the heck out of it. I also always feel the need to "do all the things". However, right now I am having to realize that I can't be supermom and wife, rock my business, keep a sparkling clean home, rock my fitness routine, and the other twenty-six items that appear on my daily list of life goals. I only did a few of those things really well today. The other things, I sucked at. I returned home feeling a little more in control of my day because of my chat with Ms. Kelly Clarkson over my run.
Your life can feel broken, but it can be beautiful at the same time. The pieces may not fit back together as they once were. Not right now. But this is what we have to work with right now.
Now, let's adjust those messy buns and move forward however YOU do best.